He sits down. I think he was talking to me before he even got to our row. Sets down his backpack, makes a joke about how cold it is in the classroom, and almost immediately starts a conversation about Thoreau and transcendentalism and philosophy. Hugely impressed, I was not surprised to learn he was a 5th year senior. He is good looking, but a bit too granola (i.e. ready to go on a hike at any moment, and can't stop raving about the rock climbing wall). But he is nice, so nice, and he complimented my shoes (or something?), and his sense of humor seems good. At the end of class he says he'll see me next time and then proceeds to climb up the rows of seats to leave faster. I go back to my dorm to tell my roommate about this very interesting guy I met in my econ lecture. Yes, very interesting.
Scenario: approximately 6 weeks into the semester later (or is it 7 now? or 12 or 4, i've no idea) we have sat together for every lecture (except for the occasional ones I may have missed). For quite some time he was very interesting, a great conversationalist, and always noticing what I was reading and complimenting my style. So very nice! But gradually it has started to annoy me and even invade my personal bubble a little too much. I think he means well, but at times it verges on creepy (and at least makes me uncomfortable). He mentioned that he wants me to read some of his poetry. A suggestion I didn't eagerly jump at, but didn't know how to kindly turn down (he has yet to produce anything for me to read, though). When I admitted that I am in a sorority, he told me he respected me for it (crap. I wanted him to hate me for it.), and lectured me about how in my life I need to seek people like myself and that I needed to find intellectuals and eclectics (and he then told me to hang around the rock climbing wall at the rec to find said types. the chances of which i promptly told him were slim to none. rude? maybe. honest? yes.) Why do people think like that? I certainly do NOT need to only seek people like myself. You can learn so much from people who are polar opposites of yourself. The idea of intellectuals seeking intellectuals just bugs me. I understand the benefit of stimulating conversation, but the theory itself seems so closed-minded (when really the goal for these types is to come across as as open-minded as possible. irony.)
Overall, I just find his principles pretentious. I know he means well, and I appreciate his kindness and company, really I do. But when he told me today that out of everything in life he wanted to just travel and live as stress free as possible ("stress is a killer" he said-- like he had done the scientific research himself!), I just found myself thinking "well DUH who wouldn't love to travel and live without stress?!" It's not like he's got these grand ambitions that all others are too afraid to attempt, it's more like he's entirely unrealistic and applauding himself for it. I know I am too critical. I know I am in no way above him or in any place to judge him. So maybe I shouldn't even be discussing this at all, but......
Beyond his foolish ideals, though, it's the complimenting.... Without fail he has noticed something (or everything) I have been wearing, or my hair, or even my NOSE! Oh my. I think it is very nice and outgoing for a guy to feel comfortable enough to compliment a girl. I didn't feel strange about that. It's just too much. I know it might be overboard, but I've almost started to get afraid that he might try to come find me outside of class. Something about him just doesn't feel right. I think he is just awkward, though. Sweet but awkward and doesn't know boundaries sort of. He hasn't asked any suspicious questions or anything at all, hasn't even asked for my phone number, it's just a funny intuition I have. This is how people get stalkers. This could also be how people get best friends. Am I overly cautious and judgemental, or careful and justifiably uncomfortable?
So what does one do? It's 6 or 7 or 12 or 4 weeks into the semester and I'm already feeling fairly uncomfortable. I've tried to be more distant and keep conversation to small talk and have a different body language, etc. Maybe it's working: today he told me thinks he can just teach himself better than the teacher does in class, so if I didn't see him anymore that was why (and though i just thought, "that is so dumb, you didn't read a page from the last unit and almost failed the test. there's no way you'll keep up if you quit coming to class!" i wasn't about to argue with his principles as he practically patted himself on the back for being so self reliant.) And so I bid him goodbye when the class ended and as he started to climb over the rows of desks instead of taking the stairs (a habit I've grown to despise), possibly for the last time.....this week.....or this semester. who can know? Updates are sure to come on the case of the annoying classmate.
where's my update?! I was immensely happy to find that you have a blog. I grew increasingly happy when I read this one...and increasingly sad when I realized I was reading the latest entry from MARCH!
ReplyDeletePlease come back to blogging